Dear John

You had my heart, I gave it to you whole and full of trust. You returned shards that have been splintered with the worst kind of heartache. Every promise I made to you I kept, every time I said I’d be there I was there. There was never a time when I was too busy, too stressed, too anything for you. I didn’t do the things I did so I could later throw them in your face in that argument, I did them because I care about you, because you were my friend and you needed me. Yes, I felt more for you than friendship and yes, I wanted it to go somewhere but in the end what I wanted was your friendship.  I wanted those nights we sat in Roosevelt Park, drank cheap beer and talked about everything. I wanted the days we drove in my car singing Cee Lo at the top of our lungs, I wanted the nights we sat in the RV listening to Mumford & Sons and talking about the crappy hand life had dealt us.

I needed you, this wasn’t just my problem it was our problem. We dealt with it together until the aftermath and then you left me alone. You abandoned me when I needed you most, something I had never done to you, would never do to you. I loved you in every way one person can love another. It wasn’t romantic the way you thought it was, it was the kind of love people have for one another when they’ve been to hell and back together. I told you I’d always be your friend, always be here for you and I meant it. I still mean it. I want so much to forgive you, for you to care that you hurt me so deeply.

I miss you so much it tears me apart every time I think about it. Every time I hear a song we listened to or I make a joke about something we did my heart breaks a little more. I trusted you so completely I never thought I’d feel these things and it would be because of you. I’ve given up hope that I’ll ever hear from you again and that breaks me apart inside. I wish what we went through together made a difference to you.


About inkspots87

I'm a writer at heart, but so much more. I'm typical, I love music and I've got a thing for pretty things. I like things, in general. If it's a thing chances are I'll like something about it. I love to read. Words are quite possibly my favorite thing, hence why I'm here. View all posts by inkspots87

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