Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost.
We move on and we let go, we find new places to fit in and we close the door on the old parts of our lives. And yet, in our hearts and in our souls we hold on. We hold out hope that those we left behind will somehow be the people we wanted them to be. We hold on to those hurts and the pain they created. We let that pain blossom into our lives, poisoning the chances we have for happiness. We look out into the world with eyes that only see the past.
I’ve lived and lost so much, more than I ever thought I would. I’ve loved and been betrayed, hurt so deeply tears won’t even come to cleanse the pain. I’ve held onto every one of those hurts, giving them control over the decisions I’ve made, allowing them to create fear and holding me back from the things I want in my life. I still do it. I let the hurt I’ve suffered hold me back. I look into the eyes of everyone I meet and expect the worst from them, expect to be hurt, let down, betrayed and in the end alone. It’s no way to live.
I’m closing the door for good. As a comedian once said, we don’t get a coupon at the end of our lives for being unhappy. This is it, we get this one life and if we choose to hold on to pain and hurt, rather than letting it go and finding happiness we’re wasting it. I don’t want to waste my life anymore, so, I’m taking a chance.
Everything changes, whether we like it or not. Life is not stagnant and if we don’t accept that then we end up stuck. Despite change though, nothing is really lost. We keep things alive with our memory, it’s all there in our minds and in our hearts. We just have to learn to let go of the pain and allow the wounds to close and heal.
I am healing.