Demotivationals remind me of you, so does the cold chill of early spring. Your eyes are warm, I never knew what that meant until I looked into your eyes. Clear and bright, they shimmer with a brooding intelligence. You allow yourself to be underestimated, yet there’s a swagger to your demeanor. A cockiness I find irresistible. I hear your voice whispering in my ear as you hold me close.
You tell me to let it go, to cry until I don’t hurt anymore. I let my defenses down, the pain pouring out of me in fractured sobs. My tears soaked through your t-shirt, mascara staining the shoulder of your shirt. Gently you lead me to the bed, lay me down and wrap me in your arms. A few more tears leak out as I thank you for what you’ve done for me. I let myself drift to sleep in your arms, every time I wake up in fear you’re there, your arms still wrapped around me; keeping me safe and reminding me you love me.
That night is burned into my memory, the tender way you held me and the way I could see how much my pain hurt you. It tore through you and I could see all you wanted to was take it away, make it disappear. I fell in love with you in that moment, I gave myself to you completely in that moment.
I remember standing on that sidewalk as we said our goodbyes, to say my heart was heavy would be an understatement. As I walked away, I wanted nothing more than to turn around and run back to you. I rode home with the taste of your kiss on my lips, and the small tears I cried because I missed you staining my cheeks.
It is cold without you. Saying I miss you does not begin to cover the depth of the longing I feel for you. Despite this, I am hopeful. I know what it is we found within one another, and I know you long for it as much as I do. I know you feel that coldness left behind now that I’m gone. We’ll find one another again and I will not leave your arms again.