And to think a few days ago I wrote how I’m ok without my mom. Amazing how quickly things change. If ever there was a time when I wanted and needed her here it is now.
For once in my life I feel at a loss for words, which is an unfamiliar, uncomfortable feelings. Words define me, they are what I am. I’ve started this blog several times and have been unable to do anything other than stare at the screen.
I’m at a point in my life where I want change, I want things to be different. I can’t live the way I have been. I look around at my life and I can’t seem to figure out how I got here. I know it has all been my choices, I’m not looking for someone else to blame. More like looking for what is inside of myself that led me to make these choices and end up where I am.
I see my perception of myself has not been correct, it has not matched who I became. I need to fix that. I know what I want for myself and what I want in my life and I have to make the choices that will lead me to those things.